Why Does It Suck So Bad…….

to argue with your wife?

When I am spatting with Shannon, a bunch of things happen inside of me, some of which are anger, fear, i become insecure, distracted, unableto do my job, and unable to function properly.

Why is that?  I think that happens because if on “normal” days we are in great relationships, bad days feel worse because “good” days are the prescribed norm.  I am used to my life being great.  I have a wife who loves me and kids who actually want to be around me along with a job that I car about serving people that I care about.  So, “normally” I have really good days.  However; when I am having a spat with Shannon, everything gets thrown of kilter.  Everything is a mess.

I “normally” try to live my life by honoring Shannon as a woman I stood in front of God and promised to love, and as a father who takes seriously the responsibilities of fatherhood.  I “normally” do everything that I can to ask myself “What am I doing to make sure that Shannon feels valued, respected and loved?”  Normally.

I normally do that.

What is it about an argument that makes me want to live the opposite way?

Why do my feeling change in the heat of the moment?

I want desperately to make sure that Shannon know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is

- Valued – She means more to me than what she can do for me.  Her opinion matters and is worth something.

- Respected – I honor her as the wife I chose and as the mother of my kids.  I respect her role, and allow her the time to relax that she needs so that she can recharge.

- Loved – I think more about her than I do myself.  I put her needs and wants and desires ahead of mine.

Normally, I try really hard to do that stuff.

I love my wife, I promised God that I would, and even if I didn’t I would still love her and try to do everything that I could to make her feel valued, respected and loved.

Shannon, you are the most valuable person in my life.  I could not, and cannot live without you.  You are my bride and a great person to boot.  I love you.

Have a great day.

Golf and Integrity

If you take a gimme, take a mulligan, or improve your lie, you are a cheating golfer.  If you break any rule whatsoever and turn a score card in that does not match what actually happened, you are disqualified from the round.  I love golf, even when I am playing poorly, and even more when I am playing well.  I shot an 84 yesterday and I followed all of the rules.  Aaron Hoback can vouch.

How would I be able to brag about my score if I had cheated in the slightest?  I wouldn’t.  I would be a liar, and my integrity would be lost.

See after my full round of 18, I played another 9 holes.  During that 9 hole round, I putted my ball into the hole without removing the flagstick, which is a two stroke penalty.  The putt was for par, and since I was and was not really keeping score for this 9 holes, I put down a par with an asterisk next to it, and told my playing partner that I had done so.  He responded “I don’t think it really matters.”  To which I responded “if you can bend your integrity here, you can bend your integrity anywhere.”

If you bend your integrity in one place, you can easily bend it in others.

Golf is perfect for me because I like the legalistic rules that you must follow.  As a christ follower I also understand that God is full of GRACE and love and mercy.  None of which apply to the golf course, but guess what, GOLF is not life.  It is a game.

When we sin, and our lives are not the perfection that we want them to be, we need not assess ourselves a penalty stroke.  We need not beat our selves up.  We need only to rely on the love and forgiveness that God is constantly shoveling out onto us.

We move on.

We sin no more.

We live with guilt no more.

We are loved much more.

A Burr In My Saddle

I got a burr in my saddle.  Something is bothering me, because something is bothering someone I love.

I don’t even really know how or what to write about, but I know that I need to pray.  I need to pray really hard, and I need to pray outloud.

I am going to go, and pray right now.  See ya.  Sorry for the short post, it actually took like 15 minutes to write.

Moses Smell the Roses

i love hearing about other people’s short falls.  I know that sounds horrible, but trust me, I don’t root for their short comings, I just like realizing that people I hold in high regard aren’t perfect either.

Take Moses for example.

The Israelites are in the wilderness, and miraculously God is providing manna for them to eat.  Kinda bland, but they got creative about how they were cooking it.  They made it work.

But, they wanted meat.  In Egypt, they got meat.  All the meat that they wanted, and at no cost.  Other than slavery.

So, they grumbled against God.  The grumbled against Moses.

God, not too into the idea of grumbling.

Moses, not feeling up to the challenge of leading a bunch of grumbles, and complains to God.  In fact, tells God to kill him, but only if God has found him righteous.  KILL ME, but only if I can come to heaven. – Moses

God provides quail, and soon the people are described as having it coming out of thier noses, and then God kills some of them.  Great story.

My thoughts?

Moses, smell the roses.

You are going to have tough times.  waYne, smell the roses, you are going to have tough times.  You are going to feel inadeqate.  Stop.  Smell the roses and encounter god.

w

Connect Cards 4

Today

Today I had to apologize to God.  It has been a while since I took time and talked to Him.  I mean really talked to Him.  Sure, I pray regularly, but almost like salting some fries.  A little here and a little there.  I still had that relationship, but it needs more time.

Today I got reading in Proverbs 29-31 and Ecclesiastes.

Proverbs 29:20 “Do you see a man who speaks in haste?  There is more hope for a fool that for Him.”

I often speak in haste.  What I mean is that I often speak in haste.  Yes, I speak in haste.  I try and try to control that, and I know that I am progressing nicely, but I just want to be perfect in this area.  I want to control my tongue.  Shannon is often the brint bearer of this haste.  I am comfortable with her, and sometimes I allow my stupid mouth to say something that I immediately regret.  Some smart”donkey” thing that has no bearing on anything that will matter 3 seconds from now, but I am so stupid that I often blurt it out without thinking.  in other words, without haste.

I am not writing to apologize, because I have done nothing wrong.  Today.  I am writing this and learning this for my own benefit and my own good.

God, thank you for your son, and for my salvation.  I don’t write that lightly Lord.  It is not salt on french fries.  I love you and I am so glad that I will be able to live with you for eternity, and that you love me even with my lack of haste.  Lord, grow me in this.  Grow me in this aspect towards my wife and my kids.  I am doing fairly well with other people, but I want my family to know without a doubt that they are more valuable than my opportunity to say something ridiculous.

Please bless Steve today as he writes the message that will no doubt change someones heart and or thinking.  Be with Joey as he plans and ministers to his teens, and to his wife.  Lord, be with Abbey and Shannon and Nikki A as they develop the children’s programming.  The foundation of many young people’s lives.  Thank you for listening and loving.  Also, give please Jon safe travel to Columbia.Amen

I Hear Them

What the crap?

Loved

Today