to argue with your wife?

When I am spatting with Shannon, a bunch of things happen inside of me, some of which are anger, fear, i become insecure, distracted, unableto do my job, and unable to function properly.

Why is that?  I think that happens because if on “normal” days we are in great relationships, bad days feel worse because “good” days are the prescribed norm.  I am used to my life being great.  I have a wife who loves me and kids who actually want to be around me along with a job that I car about serving people that I care about.  So, “normally” I have really good days.  However; when I am having a spat with Shannon, everything gets thrown of kilter.  Everything is a mess.

I “normally” try to live my life by honoring Shannon as a woman I stood in front of God and promised to love, and as a father who takes seriously the responsibilities of fatherhood.  I “normally” do everything that I can to ask myself “What am I doing to make sure that Shannon feels valued, respected and loved?”  Normally.

I normally do that.

What is it about an argument that makes me want to live the opposite way?

Why do my feeling change in the heat of the moment?

I want desperately to make sure that Shannon know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is

- Valued – She means more to me than what she can do for me.  Her opinion matters and is worth something.

- Respected – I honor her as the wife I chose and as the mother of my kids.  I respect her role, and allow her the time to relax that she needs so that she can recharge.

- Loved – I think more about her than I do myself.  I put her needs and wants and desires ahead of mine.

Normally, I try really hard to do that stuff.

I love my wife, I promised God that I would, and even if I didn’t I would still love her and try to do everything that I could to make her feel valued, respected and loved.

Shannon, you are the most valuable person in my life.  I could not, and cannot live without you.  You are my bride and a great person to boot.  I love you.

Have a great day.